A friend replies, number 1

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

A. [A disclaimer: My answers are not etched in stone but
jotted down on scrap paper.] Corporally, to be mentally
alert but to suffer chronic, abject physical pain.
Spiritually, to be forced to choose between self-preservation
and self-sacrifice for the sake of the common good.

Where would you like to live?

A. Ideally, somewhere with excellent plumbing, decent infrastructure, clean air and water, lack of noise pollution, no pest problems, and good radio reception, that's light and roomy, all within a coastal climate in the environs of an admirable local government and reasonable real-estate prices. [Purslane comment: Denmark?] [Reply: That doesn't sound too bad.]

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

A. To want not and to desire less.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

A. Tragic adorability.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?

A. Unlike in real life, in fiction I prefer anti-heroes
and villains. But, rest assured, Holden Caulfield bugs the
hell out of me.

Who are your favorite characters in history?

A. It depends on my mood. Over the years, they've included George III, Alexey Romanov, Alexander Hamilton, the Marquis de Lafayette, Albert Schweitzer, Thomas Chatterton. . . . I'm so depressed that I can't think of any women I'd put on the list. [Please add Seneca the Younger to my androcentric list.]

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?

A. No one. I don't believe in real-life heroes or heroines.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

A. Again, I tend to find heroes and heroines dull, so I can't think of one at the moment.

Your favorite painter?

A. I don't have one.

Your favorite musician?

A. Nowadays, I'm reluctant to pick favorites. My favorite
is whoever I'm listening to a lot at the moment.

The quality you most admire in a man?

A. Brawn.

The quality you most admire in a woman?

A. Brawn.

Your favorite virtue?

A. Compassion.

Your favorite occupation?

A. Carpenter. Or French-pastry chef.

Who would you have liked to be?

A. Professionally, a Cold War-era spy. If I had to put myself in the body of another, real or fictional, I wouldn't.