poem

Pillows for Howard

They float and fall like lumpen clouds
A fat woman's bosom for his undyed locks

Ambition

I also want to be a pioneering preview critic. I'll review movie previews, including classics, and acquire the world's largest collection of previews. And I'll finally give the geniuses who direct, edit, choose music for, and narrate movie previews the respect and recognition they deserve.

My calling

I've finally confronted my fate: I am going to become the next David Frost. But better, of course. I'm starting by interviewing everyone I know, and I'm going to place the interviews on YouTube. This is going to generate tremendous buzz, leading to a major network deal.

Thank you, Eugene, for alerting me to my talent as we walked across a parking lot in Hawaiian Gardens.

I want you to love Junior Senior

tinyurl.com/29bdvk

I want you to love baby Jesus

tinyurl.com/34u8x9

Things the cats say to me

“Art is an abstraction; derive that abstraction from nature by dreaming before her.”
"Pay attention to the silhouette of each object; a clear outline is the prerogative of a hand that is not paralyzed by a faltering will."

Things I say to the cats

Hello, gravel rollers!
Come on in out of the cold.
Don't drink that water--it's gross!
Come here, kitcat.
Off.
You made the seat sooo warm!
That's unacceptable.
Peaceful kingdom.
You are a love bucket.
Don't be a brat.
Do you like the possum?
Are the fleas falling from you like black rain?
What are you doing?
It's all right.
Are you OK?
You're funny.
It's OK.
Bye.